Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Crazy Dreams and Bah Humbug.*edited*

*new note!* Another infant referral today!!*

Today, I woke up at 6 am from a dream about our girl. I have dreamed about a generic baby before, but never seen a sweet girly face. Today I did...and it was SO sweet. I was snuggling her in a baby sling "bonding" with her, and she was smiling and cooing at me with big brown eyes.

I had a hard time falling back to sleep (but I did :). I just layed in bed with this real sense that Lord was telling me to get ready. We are close. So I prayed. Prayed for our girl, prayed for her family. It brings tears to my eyes to think that thier goodbyes are probably so fresh right now. That their grief will bring us joy. That another families sorrow or tragedy will bring a daughter to our family. It's SO hard to wrap my head around some days. While we're so ready to have and love her, it is just a very sad and broken world that brings adoptions about...there is just no way around that.

I have had a hard time shifting into Christmas mode. I usually LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas. I love giving gifts, I love talking to my kids about Jesus birthday and the reason why we celebrate. Love hunting Christmas Trees, love making cookies. I am a lover of family traditions and Christmas is full of them. But I keep hearing myself say last Christmas that "hopefully we'll have her home with us next Christmas". That was a dumb thing to say. Adoptions are so unpredictable in a timeline sense. We completely trust and believe it's God's timing. We absolutely dont' want anything BUT that. I know some of you don't share that belief, but it  is THE reason we are in this thing. For some reason my heart is reluctant to dive into the festivities without our girl. I'm so hoping we'll see her face by Christmas.

I actually thought this morning, "I should do my hair this morning, just in case we get "the call". I want to look decent for pictures". Silly, right? It could happen at this point. Matt and I went over our plan for when we get "the call" last night. I text him first. If he doesn't respond, I call the school secretary to track him down. Then we'll meet at my parents house (right by the school) to call our caseworker together and be in front of the computer to see that sweet face together with my folks and our boys.

So, now, we just need THE CALL. I'm ready.

ps...there was actually 2 families yesterday with referrals, one with siblings who was below us on the list, and one beautiful 2 month baby girl! Yahoo! Congrats Andrews and Bottomlys!

16 comments:

Erica said...

Oh Erin, I'm praying that you get that call, what an amazing Christmas gift she would be, huh?! God's timing is so amazingly perfect and I love that He gave you that dream. Nothing like a shove to get you all excited! Remember that dream so when you are feeling like it's never going to happen, you can think back on that and know that God has her already picked out for you and He's just waiting for that perfect time!!!

I'm excited for you guys!!! =)

Julie said...

must be emotional today...but i'm totally balling thinking about you guys getting the call and the excitement...and going to your parents house. So fun. What a wonderful Christmas present... soon, so soon.

Mrs. D said...

keep declaring it girl. speak blessing out over your little girl and you will see them come to pass.

~Laura~ said...

thinking of you and praying you get the call soon!

Belleme said...

SOOOO exciting! Can't wait to meet you in Portland some day with both of our girls! :) Maybe they will be crib mates- MAYBE we will even travel together!

The Francis Family said...

I love this post. I'm right there with you. Soon, soon, soon...

Kimberly said...

This post brings me tears and goosebumps! I love knowing exactly how you will see her face for the first time and who will be there with you. What a joyous moment that is! I can't wait to do it again. Last time from China, this time Ethiopia! Blessings to your whole family and I can't wait to see that face too!

AprilM said...

Oh my!!! I had a dream a couple of days ago that we recieved our referral for a 1 month old little girl....I felt like the Lord was telling us to get ready......

Denise Crawford said...

Oh Eryn, this grammy can hardly wait!! She's so close we can almost feel her. I know that the Lord is preparing you (all of us) to meet your precious girl, and believe me, I'll probably beat you to my house when that call comes in!! Every new referral is amazing news - so congratulations to you all who have your referrals. And each one of those wonderful referrals leads the Kesler family one step closer to uniting with OUR girl!!! Thank you Lord!!! Soon, baby girl!

Becky said...

Hi Eryn,posted a response to your posting on my blog, but still so new at the response part, wanted to make sure I sent a hello here, too, just in case. Hope you got my first one...just wanted to add to the congrats on the really close referral! Yay for you guys!!!

missy said...

hope that blessed call comes soon!

Christy. said...

It's coming soon so make sure to do your hair each morning, I sure am!! :0)

Praying it happens in the perfect timing!!

Lindsey said...

Hang in there! It will come and when they read you her history, you will be able to pin point your emotions on certain days and it will correspond to things that were happening to her at the same time~at least that happened to me! Praying for you!

Mark and Heidi said...

I am cracking up because I have had a lot of the same crazy thoughts and have actually done my hair several times in anticipation of the call. Of course we have been expecting that call for five months now and I've relaxed a little, LOL. Oh, great, now that I say that they will probably call and my hair is in an ugly nasty pony tail! Anyway, I know how you feel about Christmas too but I have a good feeling that you will see her face before that day and what a wonderful Christmas present that will be! I will be stalking regularly for the good news :)

Heidi

be_a_Mary said...

I can't wait to check your blog and see WE GOT THE CALL!! SO excited for you!!

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

Soon......I love dreaming about our little one.....of course I have a picture now. But even before....- it is like a sweet glimpse from God :)

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