*new note!* Another infant referral today!!*
Today, I woke up at 6 am from a dream about our girl. I have dreamed about a generic baby before, but never seen a sweet girly face. Today I did...and it was SO sweet. I was snuggling her in a baby sling "bonding" with her, and she was smiling and cooing at me with big brown eyes.
I had a hard time falling back to sleep (but I did :). I just layed in bed with this real sense that Lord was telling me to get ready. We are close. So I prayed. Prayed for our girl, prayed for her family. It brings tears to my eyes to think that thier goodbyes are probably so fresh right now. That their grief will bring us joy. That another families sorrow or tragedy will bring a daughter to our family. It's SO hard to wrap my head around some days. While we're so ready to have and love her, it is just a very sad and broken world that brings adoptions about...there is just no way around that.
I have had a hard time shifting into Christmas mode. I usually LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas. I love giving gifts, I love talking to my kids about Jesus birthday and the reason why we celebrate. Love hunting Christmas Trees, love making cookies. I am a lover of family traditions and Christmas is full of them. But I keep hearing myself say last Christmas that "hopefully we'll have her home with us next Christmas". That was a dumb thing to say. Adoptions are so unpredictable in a timeline sense. We completely trust and believe it's God's timing. We absolutely dont' want anything BUT that. I know some of you don't share that belief, but it is THE reason we are in this thing. For some reason my heart is reluctant to dive into the festivities without our girl. I'm so hoping we'll see her face by Christmas.
I actually thought this morning, "I should do my hair this morning, just in case we get "the call". I want to look decent for pictures". Silly, right? It could happen at this point. Matt and I went over our plan for when we get "the call" last night. I text him first. If he doesn't respond, I call the school secretary to track him down. Then we'll meet at my parents house (right by the school) to call our caseworker together and be in front of the computer to see that sweet face together with my folks and our boys.
So, now, we just need THE CALL. I'm ready.
ps...there was actually 2 families yesterday with referrals, one with siblings who was below us on the list, and one beautiful 2 month baby girl! Yahoo! Congrats Andrews and Bottomlys!